I feel as if people always tell me, “you just need to relax.” What they don’t realize is how difficult this is for someone suffering from anxiety. It isn’t just done in one simple step. There are hundreds of steps some of us have to go through to get to a point of relaxation. A point of where we feel like we are sane again. My anxiety hits me hardest at night before I go to bed. I will be watching a show before bed and BAM I can’t breathe. My heart starts racing and my mind thinks of awful scenarios. I always think the worst is going to happen. I’m not sure why God gave me this disorder. Maybe because he thought I can fight through it. It is a constant battle everyday, but some days are better than others. I can go weeks without having an attack then out of no where one will hit me.
I go through all these thoughts in my head to calm myself. The “it’s okay” and “it’s only in my head” thoughts. The basic ones any anxiety sufferer knows of. Working out used to calm me down but recently it’s made it worse. Deep breathing has also failed miserably these past few weeks. When the attacks hit me before bed I have realized tickling my arm helps calm me. Weird, I know, but that is something my grandparents and mom have always done growing up. It puts me right to sleep. I never thought doing it to myself would actually work but I’ve been desperate. If I could hire my own personal arm tickler I definetly would (I wonder if any exist). If anywhere in the future I get filthy rich you better believe this is the first thing I will pay for before a house or a new car.
I am in the midst if discovering steps I need to take to calm my mind and recover from my disorder. I know that it will always be there and can pop up at any moment, but I want to lessen the effects it has on my mind. Plus, long term anxiety can have major effects on physical health. If people believe this is only mental it isn’t. It causes plenty of underlying health problems. If those can be avoided I will do anything to do so. Recently cutting out plenty processed foods out of my diet and beginning a fitness challenge soon. I’m hoping focuses my goals a positive way will help me on my journey. I want to be a healthy human being mind, body, and spirit. It all begins with some steps in the right direction and I think I have made mine.
Been an extremely long time since I have written on here last. Sometimes life seems to be too much to handle and you need to take a step back. Between having a job, school, and other priorities breaks are needed. Time for your mind and body to relax so you don’t go crazy! That is exactly what I have been lately because of stress. Why do people expect so much out of young kids these days when we have twice as much to worry about?
Let me begin with college costs more than double it did when our parents were once in school. Classes are more demanding and are needed if you want to go anywhere in life. We have to work long hours on top of going to school full time to pay for our college expenses. Why can’t life be simpler? You learn more from being hands on, not from 3 hour lectures where you go over exactly what you could read out of a book. I believe in experiences help you learn. Memorizing 3 chapters for a test does not prove you learned anything. I do not agree with the all the priorities us young people are given today by parents, teachers, etc.
Realize what your too priorities are in life then go after the things you want. If you try hard enough and believe in yourself you can do anything, and whether that involves school or not is your choice. Don’t put too much unnecessary stress on yourself so young. Eventually we figure out that things we worried about a week ago was a smaller problem than it appeared to be. Relax, breathe, and be happy. Life’s too short to be anything but that.
So today I experienced hell…I did the insanity workout. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I have done all the videos such as p90x and have always been a basketball player. I do HIIT training almost 4 days a week but I thought I was going to die doing it. Not in a bad way though! My friend is a certified instructor and has a class. It had me dripping sweat in 5 minutes and by the end of the 45 minute workout I just layed on the floor. If you want to try and challenge yourself then do this workout. For someone as physically active as me it was extremely difficult. I’m willing to do anything at this point to get into the best shape I can be. It gets hard eating healthy all the time but anything to get to where I want to be
Health has always been a huge part of my life, but just recently I have become more serious about it. I have always been a gym rat and seeing results is the greatest thing in the world. It makes me feel proud of myself. Although I may cheat and eat some bad things, I am only human and it will happen. As long as I get back on track then it’s okay. It’s hard to try and eat healthy when no one in my family does. I am in school right now to become a dietitian so let’s hope this all pays off. Or who knows maybe health will take me in a different direction. Progress is slow but that’s the beauty in it. I enjoy working for what I want, which is to have abs!! I have baby abs right now but they will get there by summer! (: