Last night I by far had the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had before. I think what made it so scary is that I was away from home without a family member to calm me down like they usually do. Laying down to go to bed and all of a sudden I can’t breathe. My heart starts pounding and it feels like I’m getting no air. The feeling of not being able to breathe is awful. You take deep breaths in through your mouth, and out through your nose, but it doesn’t work. My heart rate is still speeding up and I am just looking for comfort

The worst part about anxiety attacks is that you cause them yourself. If you worry about something too much, then your mind will play tricks on you. The only thing I can keep telling myself is, “This will pass,” or “everything is okay.” Meditating often helps, but with a friend who doesn’t know about your condition, it just looks silly. Why me? I over analyze everything. Once I get one anxiety attack, that means more than one will occur. Usually over a period of a week.¬†

I’m on a beautiful beach here on the Jersey Shore, so why can’t I relax?



Laying on the beach, feet in the water, and drinking a Yoohoo. Typical day here in New Jersey. It may have only been 80 degrees here, but it was a huge difference from Michigan. This is the exact break I needed from the real world. Here there are no cares. I can sit on the front deck looking over the ocean.  Enjoy the simple in life is was they say right? Who needs all the fancy things when nature has it all. The beach and water is the most beautiful thing in the world. Of course I have not seen much of the world but still. From what I have, I love the ocean the most. With the windows open at night I can hear the waves breaking on shore. Just silence, waves, and a breeze off the water. Bittersweet to leave places like this, but that is what makes trips worth it. You wait months just to come and see this one sight. So worth the wait. It makes it a lot more enjoyable after a 12 hour car ride just to make it here.

Sunshine means happiness


Sun is shining bright and it’s 81 degrees in Michigan! Boy did I need this! Shitty weather always brings me down and I get crabby. Best mode I have been in in months because I’m getting some sun! Also, I’m leaving for New Jersey this afternoon so I’m hoping the weather is as good as ours here in Michigan. Very excited to get a break from work and school to relax by the beach (even though it won’t be warm). I’ll be happy to be able to wear jeans and a hoodie and walk by the water. My idea of paradise. Who couldn’t be happy when you’re sitting on a beautiful beach listening to the waves hit the shore? Read a good book on a blanket and I’ll be set! Can’t wait to leave but have lots to do before I do; such as get a little tan (:. Have a wonderful day and enjoy this beyond beautiful weather if you have it!

Look up

Look up by Gary Turks
I have just watched the video above not once but 3 times. It talks about the problems with technology and social media today. He simply says it. We miss out on experiences sitting behind our phones or computers all day long. When we feel uncomfortable in public we just pull out our phones. Most people think it makes them feel less alone. No longer do we make conversation with random people in public, rather we sit on twitter.

He makes the point of showing what we miss out on looking at our computer screen, you can’t help but ask yourself, “What have I missed out on?” For how much I sit on my phone going through Instagram, I have missed out on a lot. A lot of experiences passed up. And experiences we do have is it the same if we don’t share it on social media? Did it really happen if we don’t post a tweet or picture about where we were? We don’t seem to think so. We find time to post all these pictures so that people can see exactly what were doing at every hour of the day. We aren’t living anymore. How can we enjoy an experience if we’re only worried about making sure other people know what we’re doing. And the people that were are publicizing our experiences for don’t even care. Most “friends” on social networks are people we have never talked to in person. They are our online friends. Do we really want to waste amazing experiences with people who don’t give a damn? I’d much rather be in the moment and enjoy it for myself

If you have yet to watch this video, I highly recommend it. Definetly an eye opener and makes you want to put your phone down and go live. Have a great day all, and most of all, make it productive.

Too long

Been an extremely long time since I have written on here last. Sometimes life seems to be too much to handle and you need to take a step back. Between having a job, school, and other priorities breaks are needed. Time for your mind and body to relax so you don’t go crazy! That is exactly what I have been lately because of stress. Why do people expect so much out of young kids these days when we have twice as much to worry about?

Let me begin with college costs more than double it did when our parents were once in school. Classes are more demanding and are needed if you want to go anywhere in life. We have to work long hours on top of going to school full time to pay for our college expenses. Why can’t life be simpler? You learn more from being hands on, not from 3 hour lectures where you go over exactly what you could read out of a book. I believe in experiences help you learn. Memorizing 3 chapters for a test does not prove you learned anything. I do not agree with the all the priorities us young people are given today by parents, teachers, etc.

Realize what your too priorities are in life then go after the things you want. If you try hard enough and believe in yourself you can do anything, and whether that involves school or not is your choice. Don’t put too much unnecessary stress on yourself so young. Eventually we figure out that things we worried about a week ago was a smaller problem than it appeared to be. Relax, breathe, and be happy. Life’s too short to be anything but that.