Why is it that at night our minds seem to go through every event that has ever happened? It’s only when we lay down to relax that this happens. Each night it’s a fight with my own mind to try and ignore all the scenarios and fall asleep. All I can think about is I should have done this and maybe he wouldn’t have left, or if I said this it could have made a difference. There is no going back to change what has happened so I am learning to accept life as it is and move on. Even if these nighttime thoughts make it hard to do, I am going to try and overcome the negative thoughts and turn them positive. Maybe once I begin my meditation tonight it will help me falling asleep. A positive life is a hard thing to have when surrounded by so much negativity. Will it be worth it? That is a question that the only answer I tell myself is,”I sure hope so.” I have realized that writing down all my thoughts actually help me realize my goals and what I need to be focused on. I am also hoping to open up and explore my mind on this blog so that I will be able to do it in person eventually. I have always been the girl to hold her feelings in to make others happy and not come off how every other girl acts, but maybe it would be a good thing.
I recently read a post about how to make yourself grow and one of the tips was to blog. I have recently been looking into bettering myself to live a more positive life. Being that lent is coming up next week, I decided to give something to myself rather than giving a pointless bad habit. I have been looking into meditating to rid my mind of all the clutter and negativity. In the past few months I have realized that I have become very negative towards myself and others and noticed it has taken a toll on me. I automatically assume the worst of a situation because that is all I have ever known. My mind wanders and I let myself put that negatively onto others. To begin my journey to this new life I am beginning meditating and also avoiding boys!! That is by far the reason for me being negative. I can not see myself being with anyone until I am able to open up and be comfortable with my own being!